When you love a person, you put that individual's needs above your own needs. I think sacrifice is a big part of it. Sometimes loving a person means telling them "no", as with a child that needs discipline. Sometimes loving a person means saying "goodbye," as with a spouse that no longer loves you and wants to spread his or her wings. Love is not always an easy thing, but it is the best thing that we humans have going for us and it is really our best and only hope. It makes life worth living.
I remember hearing a peace corp volunteer saying how many of the starving children in the country he was working in were more interested in being held and hugged by the aid workers than they were in being fed. They chose love over food.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Monday, December 3, 2007
What Happened to the Top 40?
I miss the old days when one radio station played everything. You could hear Steppenwolf, Donny Osmond and Johnny Cash all on the same station. Some of it you liked and some you didn't, but you were exposed to the best of each genre of music.
Not anymore.
The consoliation of the radio industry has really hurt originality and input from local stations that now simply broadcast music handed down "from corporate." And it seems like corporate runs like Dunder-Mifflin. As you move about the country, you hear the same formats that you do at home. Decisions are based on surveys and ratings and trying to please everyone. What happens is you end up pleasing no one. Everything is segmented into country, classic rock, rap, contemporary, etc. And within those categories, apparently only about 100 songs deserve airplay. And even the so-called mix stations aren't really much of a mix at all. No more intermingling of rock, pop, soul, country, instrumental, novelty and you-name-it all on one station. Nobody takes a risk anymore. One of the cool things about the Top 40 was that you were exposed to different genres of music and found out that some of it you really liked. Now it's all about making the most amount of money with the least amount of local influence.
Not anymore.
The consoliation of the radio industry has really hurt originality and input from local stations that now simply broadcast music handed down "from corporate." And it seems like corporate runs like Dunder-Mifflin. As you move about the country, you hear the same formats that you do at home. Decisions are based on surveys and ratings and trying to please everyone. What happens is you end up pleasing no one. Everything is segmented into country, classic rock, rap, contemporary, etc. And within those categories, apparently only about 100 songs deserve airplay. And even the so-called mix stations aren't really much of a mix at all. No more intermingling of rock, pop, soul, country, instrumental, novelty and you-name-it all on one station. Nobody takes a risk anymore. One of the cool things about the Top 40 was that you were exposed to different genres of music and found out that some of it you really liked. Now it's all about making the most amount of money with the least amount of local influence.
Friday, November 30, 2007
My Best Bully Story
When I was in 5th grade, there was this kid named Rafael. He was the terror of the playground. He intimidated everyone and had the size to back up his harrassment. One of his favorite targets was the smallest boy in our class, Cameron. One winter day when we were playing dodgeball, Rafael was being particularly mean to Cameron, stealing his hat, pushing him on the ground and verbally harassing him. He had Cameron crying. For whatever reason, I decided that I had seen enough. I was tired of Rafael and his attitude. I hollared over to him, "Hey, Rafael, lay off of him." He replied with an astonished look on his face, "What did you say?" "I said lay off him."
This was major. I had just challenged the order of the universe. I knew I was in trouble, but it's one of those times when you just don't care. I just hated the way Rafael treated people, especially the weaker ones. He was a jerk. Rafael was on his way over to see me now, with a menacing look on his face. When he got near me, he started to say something, but before he finished, I grabbed him and threw him to the ground. It was a surprise attack and the 100 or so kids on the playground stood there in shock. And a circle formed immediately in anticipation of a fight. And indeed there was one. And, as it turned out, it was a pretty even match and, as I recall, there was a lot more wrestling than there were punches thrown. It was one of the few times in my life that I did something truly brave but I did pay dearly for it, suffering the wrath of Rafael and his punk friends for the rest of the year. But, when I look back on the whole thing, I still think it was worth it because I remember Cameron coming up to me later in the day with this grateful expression on his face saying "thanks, man.....that was so cool." I wish I had more of that bravery on an everyday basis. I know too many times in my life I have looked the other way. But not that day.........
This was major. I had just challenged the order of the universe. I knew I was in trouble, but it's one of those times when you just don't care. I just hated the way Rafael treated people, especially the weaker ones. He was a jerk. Rafael was on his way over to see me now, with a menacing look on his face. When he got near me, he started to say something, but before he finished, I grabbed him and threw him to the ground. It was a surprise attack and the 100 or so kids on the playground stood there in shock. And a circle formed immediately in anticipation of a fight. And indeed there was one. And, as it turned out, it was a pretty even match and, as I recall, there was a lot more wrestling than there were punches thrown. It was one of the few times in my life that I did something truly brave but I did pay dearly for it, suffering the wrath of Rafael and his punk friends for the rest of the year. But, when I look back on the whole thing, I still think it was worth it because I remember Cameron coming up to me later in the day with this grateful expression on his face saying "thanks, man.....that was so cool." I wish I had more of that bravery on an everyday basis. I know too many times in my life I have looked the other way. But not that day.........
Monday, November 12, 2007
Holidays Bring Joy (and Stress!)
Next Thursday is Thanksgiving Day, believe it or not! Not far behind that comes Christmas and New Year's Day. We are in the mist of another holiday season with the media blitz and advertising campaigns designed to get us to buy more stuff. Stuff that most of us do not really need. But we go ahead and buy it anyway because it is expected and let's face it, advertising works on us. We are susceptible.
My favorite holiday of the three that are coming up is by far the first one, Thanksgiving. I think what's nice about this holiday is the fact that there is a lot less pressure than there is with Christmas and even New Year's. The only pressure involved is for the food servers and maybe, for some, facing some relatives they don't particularly care to see. With Christmas, you have those concerns, plus all the other considerations that go with gift-giving. Thanksgiving is just about getting-together and giving thanks.
I remember some Thanksgivings spent with my grandparents in Baltimore. I remember some other Thanksgivings spent with friends when my wife and I were first married and could not travel to see family due to work and financial constraints. I'm bless to be able to say that most of my Thanksgivings were spent with my mother and father. And, up until the death of my grandmother in 1994, Thanksgiving always included at least one grandparent in attendance. That made it special for me. One thing that makes the holidays special for many is seeing family that you haven't seen for awhile. It can also make things difficult, however, if that family member is not there anymore or if the relationship is strained.
Whatever your situation is, we at Ask Uncle Spencer, are happy to be your extended family any day of the year. Give us a holler if you want to chat and have a Happy Thanksgiving!
My favorite holiday of the three that are coming up is by far the first one, Thanksgiving. I think what's nice about this holiday is the fact that there is a lot less pressure than there is with Christmas and even New Year's. The only pressure involved is for the food servers and maybe, for some, facing some relatives they don't particularly care to see. With Christmas, you have those concerns, plus all the other considerations that go with gift-giving. Thanksgiving is just about getting-together and giving thanks.
I remember some Thanksgivings spent with my grandparents in Baltimore. I remember some other Thanksgivings spent with friends when my wife and I were first married and could not travel to see family due to work and financial constraints. I'm bless to be able to say that most of my Thanksgivings were spent with my mother and father. And, up until the death of my grandmother in 1994, Thanksgiving always included at least one grandparent in attendance. That made it special for me. One thing that makes the holidays special for many is seeing family that you haven't seen for awhile. It can also make things difficult, however, if that family member is not there anymore or if the relationship is strained.
Whatever your situation is, we at Ask Uncle Spencer, are happy to be your extended family any day of the year. Give us a holler if you want to chat and have a Happy Thanksgiving!
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Old Friends Are a Treasure
I spent the weekend in New York City a couple of weeks ago. My son goes to school in Manhatten and my daughter and I took the train to the city to visit. We spent that Saturday night with my son in his dorm room. We had a really good visit and ate dinner down at Tom's Restaurant, the same one that you see on the Seinfeld show all the time. It's a good place to eat, if you want something quick and inexpensive. On Sunday morning, I was a little worried, only because I know I have to make my way into the Bronx to see my son play in a rugby match. My son is leaving earlier in the morning with his team, so I'm going to have to find my own way to the match with my daughter. I'm excited to see the match, but a bit concerned about getting lost, as I don't know the city that well.
Earlier in the week, I had contacted one of my best friends from high school, Bob, who now lives in the Bronx, and told him I would be in the city and suggested we get together. I didn't exactly know what my schedule would be during the weekend and told him I would call later. So on Sunday morning, I called him again and we arranged to meet in upper Manhatten for lunch. Bob brought his daughter along, whom I had never met, and it was so great catching up with him and meeting her. I don't see Bob very often. In fact, sometimes as many as five or six years have passed inbetween times that we have been able to connect. What is great with old friends, however, is that you instantly pick up right where you left off with them, whether you saw them the day before, or five years before. The connection you share is just there. The conversation just flows. There's no effort involved or thought process going on. You are just friends. You always have been. You always will be.
After we had lunch, the four of us made our way to the Bronx to see my son play rugby. It was so helpful having Bob there, as he knew which bus to take and how to get to where we needed to be. To be honest, I think Bob's precocious daughter had a keener sense of direction than what Bob did, as she has grown up in the city. I don't think they realized how much stress they took off of me by getting me to the rugby match without any worries about getting lost. But that's what friends do. They make life more enjoyable.
Another unique thing that comes with old friends is the history that you share. Bob's daughter was very interested in what I had to say about how her Dad was when he was her age. And the same went for my daughter and what Bob had to say about me when I was growing up. Both of our daughters picked up on the connection and friendship that their Dads shared and I think they saw a different side of their fathers. The bottom line is that if you have an old friend, do what you can to always keep him or her in your life.
Earlier in the week, I had contacted one of my best friends from high school, Bob, who now lives in the Bronx, and told him I would be in the city and suggested we get together. I didn't exactly know what my schedule would be during the weekend and told him I would call later. So on Sunday morning, I called him again and we arranged to meet in upper Manhatten for lunch. Bob brought his daughter along, whom I had never met, and it was so great catching up with him and meeting her. I don't see Bob very often. In fact, sometimes as many as five or six years have passed inbetween times that we have been able to connect. What is great with old friends, however, is that you instantly pick up right where you left off with them, whether you saw them the day before, or five years before. The connection you share is just there. The conversation just flows. There's no effort involved or thought process going on. You are just friends. You always have been. You always will be.
After we had lunch, the four of us made our way to the Bronx to see my son play rugby. It was so helpful having Bob there, as he knew which bus to take and how to get to where we needed to be. To be honest, I think Bob's precocious daughter had a keener sense of direction than what Bob did, as she has grown up in the city. I don't think they realized how much stress they took off of me by getting me to the rugby match without any worries about getting lost. But that's what friends do. They make life more enjoyable.
Another unique thing that comes with old friends is the history that you share. Bob's daughter was very interested in what I had to say about how her Dad was when he was her age. And the same went for my daughter and what Bob had to say about me when I was growing up. Both of our daughters picked up on the connection and friendship that their Dads shared and I think they saw a different side of their fathers. The bottom line is that if you have an old friend, do what you can to always keep him or her in your life.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
James Buchanan: A Second Opinion
I live in Pennsylvania and enjoy history, so today we will be talking about a famous Pennsylvanian, in fact, the only person from this state to serve as President of the United States. James Buchanan served as Commander-In-Chief from 1857 to 1861. I thought it would be fitting to honor one of the Commonwealth’s most famous sons. Buchanan was born on April 23rd, 1791 in Cove Gap. His family later moved to Mercersburg, where Buchanan was privately tutored. He graduated from Dickinson College in Carlisle and moved to Lancaster, Pennsylvania in 1809, where he studied law.
In 1812, he was admitted to the bar and opened his practice in Lancaster. Buchanan served in the Pennsylvania House of Representatives from 1814 to 1820. In 1821, he was elected to the 17th Congress. He was re-elected four more times to this governmental body and during his tenure in the 21st Congress, he was appointed Chairman of the U.S. House Committee on the Judiciary. From 1832 to 1834, Buchanan served as the minister to Russia. From 1834 until 1845, he was elected to the Senate as a Democrat. From 1845 until 1849, Buchanan served as the Secretary of State under the administration of James K. Polk. He was instrumental in the negotiation of the Oregon Treaty with Britain which established the 49th parallel as the northern boundary of the Western United States. He also was a big proponent of having the United States purchase Cuba from Spain. An offer of $120 million dollars was turned down and a deal could never been reached.
In 1856, Buchanan was nominated by the Democrats to run for President. He defeated the Republican candidate, John C. Fremont, and took office on March 4, 1857. During his four years as President, Buchanan witnessed the ever-widening disagreement between the North and South over the issue of slavery. He relied on the Supreme Court to decide the matter. In the Dred Scott case, the Supreme Court ruled that the Congress had no constitutional authority to exclude slavery in the territories. This decision angered many Northerners. Tensions between the North and South escalated to the point where, in the winter of 1860, seven southern states ceded from the union. The Democratic Party was split and Buchanan, while denying the right of states to leave the union, also believed that the Federal government had no authority to prevent them from doing so.
Many historians regard Buchanan’s failure to act on the secession of the southern states one of the worst Presidential decisions in history. Primarily because of this issue, his ranking among the 43 presidents is generally low. I think what has unfortunately happened with Buchanan is that he has become the focal point for all the failures of the administrations that preceded him when it comes to the issue of slavery. He was not the first politician in the 1800’s to pursue the resolution of the slavery issue through compromise and conciliation. Even Lincoln, who took over for Buchanan in the spring of 1861, tried to remedy the situation through negotiation.
Another thing that doesn’t help Buchanan in the eyes of historians is the fact that his presidency directly preceded that of maybe the greatest President in the history of our country, Abraham Lincoln. But history is not black and white. While Lincoln is the favorite President of many Americans, and he gets the credit for ending slavery, his views on the issue were not much different than Buchanan’s and many others of his day. While he felt slavery was morally wrong, he tolerated it. But what Lincoln would not tolerate was the secession of the Southern states. He made the tough call to go to war for the sake of preserving the Union. The country paid a dear price for that war, with generations of Southerners and Northerners still harboring ill feelings long after 1865. And while slavery ended, it was almost another 100 years before the African-American was awarded full legal rights under the Civil Rights Act of 1964. And it wasn’t until 1976 that a candidate from a Southern state, Jimmy Carter, was elected president.
While some may consider James Buchanan’s presidency a failure because of his inability to deal with the secession of the southern states, his political career, which spanned a half-century, has to be considered a success. He was a skilled diplomat and deserves much credit for his handling of the Oregon Treaty. Some historians even give him credit for helping to keep the states of Kentucky, Missouri, Delaware, Maryland and the western part of Virginia from joining the confederacy. He was also a staunch supporter of Lincoln during the war. While Buchanan may not be at the top of the list of the most celebrated Presidents, he is still a Pennsylvanian that deserves our respect and admiration for his service to our country.
In 1812, he was admitted to the bar and opened his practice in Lancaster. Buchanan served in the Pennsylvania House of Representatives from 1814 to 1820. In 1821, he was elected to the 17th Congress. He was re-elected four more times to this governmental body and during his tenure in the 21st Congress, he was appointed Chairman of the U.S. House Committee on the Judiciary. From 1832 to 1834, Buchanan served as the minister to Russia. From 1834 until 1845, he was elected to the Senate as a Democrat. From 1845 until 1849, Buchanan served as the Secretary of State under the administration of James K. Polk. He was instrumental in the negotiation of the Oregon Treaty with Britain which established the 49th parallel as the northern boundary of the Western United States. He also was a big proponent of having the United States purchase Cuba from Spain. An offer of $120 million dollars was turned down and a deal could never been reached.
In 1856, Buchanan was nominated by the Democrats to run for President. He defeated the Republican candidate, John C. Fremont, and took office on March 4, 1857. During his four years as President, Buchanan witnessed the ever-widening disagreement between the North and South over the issue of slavery. He relied on the Supreme Court to decide the matter. In the Dred Scott case, the Supreme Court ruled that the Congress had no constitutional authority to exclude slavery in the territories. This decision angered many Northerners. Tensions between the North and South escalated to the point where, in the winter of 1860, seven southern states ceded from the union. The Democratic Party was split and Buchanan, while denying the right of states to leave the union, also believed that the Federal government had no authority to prevent them from doing so.
Many historians regard Buchanan’s failure to act on the secession of the southern states one of the worst Presidential decisions in history. Primarily because of this issue, his ranking among the 43 presidents is generally low. I think what has unfortunately happened with Buchanan is that he has become the focal point for all the failures of the administrations that preceded him when it comes to the issue of slavery. He was not the first politician in the 1800’s to pursue the resolution of the slavery issue through compromise and conciliation. Even Lincoln, who took over for Buchanan in the spring of 1861, tried to remedy the situation through negotiation.
Another thing that doesn’t help Buchanan in the eyes of historians is the fact that his presidency directly preceded that of maybe the greatest President in the history of our country, Abraham Lincoln. But history is not black and white. While Lincoln is the favorite President of many Americans, and he gets the credit for ending slavery, his views on the issue were not much different than Buchanan’s and many others of his day. While he felt slavery was morally wrong, he tolerated it. But what Lincoln would not tolerate was the secession of the Southern states. He made the tough call to go to war for the sake of preserving the Union. The country paid a dear price for that war, with generations of Southerners and Northerners still harboring ill feelings long after 1865. And while slavery ended, it was almost another 100 years before the African-American was awarded full legal rights under the Civil Rights Act of 1964. And it wasn’t until 1976 that a candidate from a Southern state, Jimmy Carter, was elected president.
While some may consider James Buchanan’s presidency a failure because of his inability to deal with the secession of the southern states, his political career, which spanned a half-century, has to be considered a success. He was a skilled diplomat and deserves much credit for his handling of the Oregon Treaty. Some historians even give him credit for helping to keep the states of Kentucky, Missouri, Delaware, Maryland and the western part of Virginia from joining the confederacy. He was also a staunch supporter of Lincoln during the war. While Buchanan may not be at the top of the list of the most celebrated Presidents, he is still a Pennsylvanian that deserves our respect and admiration for his service to our country.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
10 Things That Are Hard to Find
1) Cell phone companies that have good cell reception in most areas, customer service that is easy to access and offered by people that you can understand, and an invoice that comes each month that doesn’t weigh five pounds.
2) A cable company that offers only the channels you want to watch. Will we ever see the day when we can pick and choose the stations we would like to see and only pay for those?
3) A television crime show that doesn’t have at least one graphic scene of a dead body undergoing an autopsy.
4) A politician that doesn’t keep at least one eye on the polls and subsequently adjust his or her viewpoints accordingly.
5) An airline that gets you to your destination on time.
6) A car rental agency that doesn’t double your bill if you return your car to a different city than the one you rented it from.
7) A credit card company that offers no interest for six months and that doesn’t require an attorney to explain all the terms and conditions that apply.
8) A professional athlete that thinks he or she is overpaid.
9) Someone that wonders if downloading music for free might not be fair to the artist that created the music.
10) A newspaper or magazine that doesn’t include at least one article about how the latest medical evidence indicates that whatever you are now eating, wearing, or doing is probably going to cause you to contract an incurable disease.
2) A cable company that offers only the channels you want to watch. Will we ever see the day when we can pick and choose the stations we would like to see and only pay for those?
3) A television crime show that doesn’t have at least one graphic scene of a dead body undergoing an autopsy.
4) A politician that doesn’t keep at least one eye on the polls and subsequently adjust his or her viewpoints accordingly.
5) An airline that gets you to your destination on time.
6) A car rental agency that doesn’t double your bill if you return your car to a different city than the one you rented it from.
7) A credit card company that offers no interest for six months and that doesn’t require an attorney to explain all the terms and conditions that apply.
8) A professional athlete that thinks he or she is overpaid.
9) Someone that wonders if downloading music for free might not be fair to the artist that created the music.
10) A newspaper or magazine that doesn’t include at least one article about how the latest medical evidence indicates that whatever you are now eating, wearing, or doing is probably going to cause you to contract an incurable disease.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Ellen Degeneres and the Great Dog Snafu
Let me start out by saying I think Ellen Degeneres is one of the funniest people around and I think she is a good person with a good heart. But I'm still scratching my head over this whole episode that went on last week concerning the dog she adopted and then gave to someone else. There are a couple of things going on with this story that don't make sense to me. For starters, why is this a story at all? Is this newsworthy enough to be covered by all three major networks and all the cable news channels too? I realize that news coverage is more and more about sensationalism and ratings than it is about relevant news, but come on, you would think that most news editors would be embarrassed to treat this as hard news. I guess your Uncle is naive on this point.
Secondly, why is Ellen Degeneres an emotional basket case over this dog? When I first heard about this big bruhaha over someone's pooch, I figured the dog must have died or been stolen or had something horrible happen to it. But the whole thing came down to a misunderstanding and Ellen's friend had to give the dog back to the shelter where it was apparently re-adopted by another deserving family. I'm sorry, but there are so many unwanted pets in the world. The dog in question went to another good home and it is luckier than 99% of all the other unwanted dogs in the world. There's nothing here to cry about. Ellen can easily afford to help her friend adopt a different dog. I don't see the need for such emotional turmoil over what easily should be a happy ending.
Ellen does a lot of good through her show and I admire her for her talent, her accomplishments and the positive attitude she seems to almost always exude. Anyone who can bring a little more laughter to the world has my undying gratitude. I think maybe Ellen just had a tough week and lost perspective on the situation. I suppose we all do that sometimes. If things are getting to you, drop me a line and we'll talk. Have a good Tuesday!!
Secondly, why is Ellen Degeneres an emotional basket case over this dog? When I first heard about this big bruhaha over someone's pooch, I figured the dog must have died or been stolen or had something horrible happen to it. But the whole thing came down to a misunderstanding and Ellen's friend had to give the dog back to the shelter where it was apparently re-adopted by another deserving family. I'm sorry, but there are so many unwanted pets in the world. The dog in question went to another good home and it is luckier than 99% of all the other unwanted dogs in the world. There's nothing here to cry about. Ellen can easily afford to help her friend adopt a different dog. I don't see the need for such emotional turmoil over what easily should be a happy ending.
Ellen does a lot of good through her show and I admire her for her talent, her accomplishments and the positive attitude she seems to almost always exude. Anyone who can bring a little more laughter to the world has my undying gratitude. I think maybe Ellen just had a tough week and lost perspective on the situation. I suppose we all do that sometimes. If things are getting to you, drop me a line and we'll talk. Have a good Tuesday!!
Monday, October 22, 2007
Yes, It's Monday!!
I'm amazed at the difference in the mood of the people in my office between Monday and Friday. It's like day and night. I suppose it is a universal thing. There is just a certain dread on Mondays. Maybe it's the idea that the weekend seems so far away. The mindset is that I have to work today and four more days in a row before the weekend gets here. By Tuesday, the dread has worn off and you're starting to feel like you're in the flow of work. Tuesday is better than Monday, but for a lot of people, it's still a long way until Friday night. By Wednesday, things are starting to look up. It's hump day. There's a feeling of "Hey, I'm doing this. Look at me, I'm halfway there. I'm making it through the week."
Thursday is full of promise. It is the eve of Friday, the most looked-forward to day of the week. Thursday is a focused day. You're keeping your head down and getting your job done, knowing that the next day is Friday and that you then will have a two day break. When Friday does arrive, it's cool. The office mood is light. Someone usually brings donuts or muffins in and there's an air of possibility. You go out to a restaurant for lunch and you're already thinking about what you will do that evening. You have your paycheck, and you have two days in a row to do what you want to do. Friday is actually better than Saturday for me, only because on Friday, I know in the back of my mind that I have the next two days off.
My goal for today is to try and make it feel like a Friday, even though it is a dreaded Monday.
Thursday is full of promise. It is the eve of Friday, the most looked-forward to day of the week. Thursday is a focused day. You're keeping your head down and getting your job done, knowing that the next day is Friday and that you then will have a two day break. When Friday does arrive, it's cool. The office mood is light. Someone usually brings donuts or muffins in and there's an air of possibility. You go out to a restaurant for lunch and you're already thinking about what you will do that evening. You have your paycheck, and you have two days in a row to do what you want to do. Friday is actually better than Saturday for me, only because on Friday, I know in the back of my mind that I have the next two days off.
My goal for today is to try and make it feel like a Friday, even though it is a dreaded Monday.
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