My Best Bully Story

When I was in 5th grade, there was this kid named Rafael. He was the terror of the playground. He intimidated everyone and had the size to back up his harrassment. One of his favorite targets was the smallest boy in our class, Cameron. One winter day when we were playing dodgeball, Rafael was being particularly mean to Cameron, stealing his hat, pushing him on the ground and verbally harassing him. He had Cameron crying. For whatever reason, I decided that I had seen enough. I was tired of Rafael and his attitude. I hollared over to him, "Hey, Rafael, lay off of him." He replied with an astonished look on his face, "What did you say?" "I said lay off him."

This was major. I had just challenged the order of the universe. I knew I was in trouble, but it's one of those times when you just don't care. I just hated the way Rafael treated people, especially the weaker ones. He was a jerk. Rafael was on his way over to see me now, with a menacing look on his face. When he got near me, he started to say something, but before he finished, I grabbed him and threw him to the ground. It was a surprise attack and the 100 or so kids on the playground stood there in shock. And a circle formed immediately in anticipation of a fight. And indeed there was one. And, as it turned out, it was a pretty even match and, as I recall, there was a lot more wrestling than there were punches thrown. It was one of the few times in my life that I did something truly brave but I did pay dearly for it, suffering the wrath of Rafael and his punk friends for the rest of the year. But, when I look back on the whole thing, I still think it was worth it because I remember Cameron coming up to me later in the day with this grateful expression on his face saying "thanks, man.....that was so cool." I wish I had more of that bravery on an everyday basis. I know too many times in my life I have looked the other way. But not that day.........

Holidays Bring Joy (and Stress!)

Next Thursday is Thanksgiving Day, believe it or not! Not far behind that comes Christmas and New Year's Day. We are in the mist of another holiday season with the media blitz and advertising campaigns designed to get us to buy more stuff. Stuff that most of us do not really need. But we go ahead and buy it anyway because it is expected and let's face it, advertising works on us. We are susceptible.

My favorite holiday of the three that are coming up is by far the first one, Thanksgiving. I think what's nice about this holiday is the fact that there is a lot less pressure than there is with Christmas and even New Year's. The only pressure involved is for the food servers and maybe, for some, facing some relatives they don't particularly care to see. With Christmas, you have those concerns, plus all the other considerations that go with gift-giving. Thanksgiving is just about getting-together and giving thanks.

I remember some Thanksgivings spent with my grandparents in Baltimore. I remember some other Thanksgivings spent with friends when my wife and I were first married and could not travel to see family due to work and financial constraints. I'm bless to be able to say that most of my Thanksgivings were spent with my mother and father. And, up until the death of my grandmother in 1994, Thanksgiving always included at least one grandparent in attendance. That made it special for me. One thing that makes the holidays special for many is seeing family that you haven't seen for awhile. It can also make things difficult, however, if that family member is not there anymore or if the relationship is strained.

Whatever your situation is, we at Ask Uncle Spencer, are happy to be your extended family any day of the year. Give us a holler if you want to chat and have a Happy Thanksgiving!